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On Human Nature – Case of Irom Sharmila

Irom Sharmila has called off her hunger protest against AFSPA. She went through pain, misery and deprivation for 16 long years. There were hundreds of people who have been killed in the encounters with army. What was Sharmila’s demand? It was to repeal the AFSPA act or to modify some of its provisions. Continue reading

Volition & Motivation: The Gap between Doing and Knowing

Most of us feel that attending a motivational program will help people achieve the individual and organizational goals. Kurt Lewin and Narziss Ach have made pioneering contribution in the field of motivation. Lewin was known for his field theory as well freezing and unfreezing  concepts in changing the human behaviour and believed that motivation and volition are the same. Narziss Ach  treated motivation and volition differently.

Volition happens at three levels: Continue reading

A Tale of Two Key-Note Addresses

“We are having our Annual Sales Conference and we would like you to deliver a Key Note address for our Pan-India Sales Team on Value Selling.” said Ramesh, the HR Manager of an IT company over phone.

“Thanks, but how did you know about me? “ I asked. “We make our own referral checks in the market before deciding on the speaker.” said Ramesh. Continue reading

Root Causes of Employee Disengagement

A number of surveys show that the majority of employees are disengaged from their work.  Factors that lead to the alienation of the modern executive  are: viewing life as  a means to an end ,  no respect for quality, abstractification and commodification. Continue reading

The Flip Side of Google Search

Rahul, a fresh engineering graduate,  was trying his hands at rubik’s cube. He said,” after doing google search and watching youtube videos, I have been able to crack the code. The world’s fastest player  can solve the puzzle in barely a minute. I have studied his instruction set 15 times and I am able to crack the code in approximately 4 minutes.”  What happens when you a solve a puzzle without applying your mind; relying on google search or  a guide in the first go?

In this process of solving a puzzle, I was wondering whether the goal is more important than the journey or the end is more crucial than the means? Continue reading

A Different Way of Curing Addictions (A Buddhist Perspective)

Generally we look at curing  addictions by eliminating the impact of the external environment. For example if a person is addicted to alcohol, he is persuaded to reduce the dependence on alcohol by suggestions on how alcohol is bad for health, its effect on the family, health and financial security. The patient is also exhorted to join Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) so as to reduce his dependence. These interventions work sometime but also tend to fail when a patient relapses as he is unable to resist the temptation.

Let us look at an alternative model from the Buddhist perspective. (Refer figure). An event (stage I) that happens outside is perceived inside the body through any or a combination of the five sense organs like eyes, ears etc. Sometimes it can be only an aural input like a piece of music or a multi-sensory input like relishing delicious mutton biryani ( sight, smell, taste, partially sound )This second  stage is called as perception and acknowledgement of the external event which is a MAP and not the actual event and is termed as Vigyan in Pali. (Stage II). The moment an input is perceived,  it is immediately evaluated by Sangya (stage III) which compares the event with something similar in the memory bank. Based on the comparison the event is either pigeonholed as either good or bad. The comparison instantaneously produces a sensation (Stage IV)) on the body which is either a positive or a negative one. The positive sensation may be tingling, soothing or a similar sensation whereas a negative sensation can be an itching, pain or a similar sensation. So far so good. The journey up till now from an external event of tasting a morsel of mutton biryani produces either positive or negative sensations which do not exclusively depend on whether the biryani is good or bad but depending on how it is perceived and the corresponding sensation it produces on the body. For example, a person who loves spicy Hyderabadi Biryani may like the taste if it is comparable to the one prepared by his mother. (Evaluation – stage III) An American who is used to bland food may find the Biriyani quite pungent. The same food has produced two different body sensations:  for the former   it is positive, and for the latter it is negative.

At this juncture, the subconscious mind comes into play and depending on the type of sensation, shall either produce a bond which is either of craving/attraction or Aversion (Raaga or Dwesha Stage V). The person decides to either have the next morsel or avoids depending on the bond that is created by the subconscious mind. A simple example of biryani can be compared to Alcohol, Nicotine or any substance drug.

 Myths of Addictions:

  1. An external event is the cause of addiction: If it were so, all people who take alcohol should have become alcoholics which are not the case. People do not become addicted to an external event or stimuli but to the sensations on the body.
  2. By telling what is right people can come out of addictions: When we tell the message only reaches the conscious mind. However the subconscious mind which constitutes 90% of the mind and is more habit prone refuses to acknowledge the message given to and by the conscious mind. Quite often alcoholics know the ill-effects but the thought pattern prevents them. On the contrary the subconscious mind now starts justifying the action. Like a person says he is drinking because he had abusive parents, pathetic childhood, financial problems, spouse etc. However he does not realize that the addiction is not for the alcohol but for the craving of pleasant sensations (relaxed feeling) and the aversion of the negative feeling (turkey, shivering, irritation etc.)
  3. Happiness and Pleasure are the same: We believe that pleasure is good and pain is bad. However any event whether pleasurable or otherwise, creates misery in the long run. Let us say a person who loves gulab-jamun feels that the sweet is the source of happiness. If it were so, irrespective of the quantity, galub-jamuns should make him happy. He may enjoy the first few very much, however if continued beyond 10 or so it may produce irritation. So the pleasure was not in the gulab-jamun but in the sensations it produced on the body.

How to Bring Change:

It should be clearly understood that the  first four stages are  primarily  automatic on which a person does not have much control, which include the event(I), the perception & acknowledgement by the senses( II) the evaluation ( III) & the sensations on the body due to evaluation (IV) .However the reaction to the body sensations is within a person’s control. The bonds of attachment and aversion are continuously in the subconscious mind every moment. Taking an analogy of the hard disk of a computer, continuously the data is written by way of bonds (sankhara) which are habit forming.

If we stop creating new bonds, slowly the old ones will wither way and gradually the change starts happening.  To bring this, awareness of the mind and body plays a very important role. It is not about concentration of the mind but a simple process of choiceless awareness which helps a person see the rapid thought process happening in the mind. Simple exercise like watching one’s breath slowly makes the mind so sharp that at one stage one is able to observe the body sensations. These sensations in a day-to-day life are generally not observable as the mind is gross.

The major trap for the mind to get into is while observing the sensations. People may start hankering after the pleasant ones and despise the bad ones. At this juncture, one has to observe the sensations with equanimity developing a clear insight that any sensation: be  it positive or negative is ultimately going to create a sankhara, an impression on the mind. By developing equanimity towards any sensations; slowly the bonds get reduced in the subconscious mind. A change happens at the subconscious level which is long-lasting.

For most of us there is a gap between knowing and doing. At a cognitive level people know the terrible effects of excessive smoking, drinking. However the behaviour can change only at a  subconscious level. To summarize, the sensations on the body produce the addictions and not the external event. This profound technique has been the unique contribution of Gautama Buddha. His  technique of  Vipassana has helped a number of people to bring a behavioural change in managing anger, fear, curing phobias or come out of addictions. Experiments were carried out on the prisoners of Tihar Jail by this technique which has amply demonstrated the efficacy of the technique.

Apart from curing addictions, the above technique of choiceless awareness which provides insights into the mind-body connect can be used in curing phobias, pain, dysfunctional anger etc. Amygdala is the seat of emotions in the human brain from where anger, fear, jealousy etc emanate. The addictions which happen at a subconscious level are very difficult to eradicate by instructing the brain at a conscious level or a cognitive level. Following examples will illustrate  the change was completely or partially brought by this technique.

  1. Subconscious Anger: Ramesh P. aged 61 years is an engineer and has worked at quality control in different spheres of management. The last position he held was that of GM level at an Automobile company. With financial stability, considerate wife and two children, both well educated and well settled we would perceive that Ramesh is be a happy person. Being his room-mate in one of the training programs I could see Ramesh shouting and screaming in his sleep which used to happen  between 12 -1 PM. For first few days, I could not comprehend what he was speaking but later on I figured out it to be a few sentences of vitriolic anger against one of his former managers. Next day when I discussed with Ramesh about the incident,  he confessed that he was not aware of  such an incident but when pointed about the contents of his diatribe, he said that the incident happened around 12 years ago when his company was going through a major expansion and Ramesh was going through testing times when his immediate boss put him under tremendous pressure. Now Ramesh and his boss both have retired.  Whenever they meet,they exchange pleasantries  and are good friends. Only  when it was pointed out to Ramesh about the  latent anger he could see the impact of subconscious mind. Ramesh realized that when he resisted the negative thoughts about the past incident the negative sensations were produced on the body. By denying them he was creating more bonds of aversion ( stage V) thus multiplying his misery. Instead when he decided to be aware of the incident; slowly the impact reduced. The more you resist the more it persists!
  1. Limitation of Chanting: Swati is a housewife from a lower-middle class family and her husband is working as a supervisor in a small private firm. Due to some reason or the other, the two could not get along well. However by sheer persistence and will Swati was able to control her frustration by regular chanting of sacred mantras, making holy pilgrimages etc. A highly religious person she had managed to keep her emotional life under control. However during the Vipassana program on the  7th   day, Swati refused to continue the course. She said now the anger within her has come out so badly that she feels a great urge to kill her husband with a gun. The anger which was lying dormant was exposed, exploded  and resulted in her violet behaviour. By becoming aware, she was able to peep into the subconscious mind and get out of her anger.

You will observe that by the chanting of mantras,  Swati was feeling calm and serence  at a conscious and a superficial level.  However when she looked deep within with awareness she could see the tremendous anger.

  1. Sense of remorse reduces pain: Homi D. was a working as a fighter pilot for the Indian Air Force ( IAF) during the India-Pakistan war in 1971. He had shown exemplary courage in fighting the enemy. He was decorated with awards. During the war, while going out for a sortie most of the  pilots in a vainglorious manner used to  blabber about  the number of bombs they dropped, and the number of people those were killed by their bombings. It was taken as a measure of one’s achievement.  During the war Homi was injured badly, almost to be captured by the Pakistani army. He  had to crawl on his wounded legs for almost 5 hours to return safely to the Indian base. His right leg had been amputated and left one was hit by few bullets. He had to undergo a number of operations but still the pain was unbearable for more than two decades. He even lost his left eye and was fitted with an artificial eye. He underwent a number of treatments, however nothing could alleviate his pain. While undergoing the meditation exercise, Homi became aware  of the pain that he had caused to a number of innocent people killed due to his bombings. Till then, what he considered as  his success, was nothing other than an act of barbarity. And this sense of remorse and guilt helped Homi to reduce the intensity of the excruciating pain. Now the pain even though not vanished, has been reduced by almost 50%.

From the above three examples, you may observe that the events which had happened more than a decade back were stored in the form of sensations. However due to the automatic nature of the subconscious mind whenever this sensations appeared on the mind there  were repeated cycles of aversions which made the subconscious mind filled with aversion; which the conscious mind was not aware of. However by sheer mindfulness slowly the  bonds of aversion ( Stage V)  were reduced and the people were able to come out of their misery.

Rajan Parulekar| Bangalore | India| rajan@paradigm-info.com| +91 98450 14098

 

Importance of Weak Ties in Strengthening your Social Network

In your social network you have two types of ties:

  1. Strong Ties: These include your close friends whom you know well and with whom you interact frequently.
  2. Weak Ties: These are the acquaintances who know you superficially and your interactions with them are rare.

Between the two of them who should support you more in propagating your service? The intuitive answer is obviously the former,  that is the strong ties.  Let us look at a hypothetical scenario.  You (A) have strong ties with B & C with whom your total strength of the network is 28 connections whereas with X & Y you have weak ties and the total network among you is 25 connections. Which one should give you more mileage? (refer figure below)

strongweak-tie

Let us look at it mathematically.

You will observe that in strong ties there are lot of common connections which lead to a great deal of overlap. Whereas in case of weak ties, the overlap is less and the distributed network is high.

strongweak-tie_graph

You will observe that your message will spread to 7 new connections with strong ties whereas with 18 connections with weak ties.

Let us look with two examples:

  1. My book, Contextual Selling was published a few years back. I had conducted a few sales training programs for Rittal India, a leading manufacturer of IT enclosures. When Jacob Chandy, the Vice president Sales and Marketing went through the book, he immediately ordered for 80 copies. In the last 5 years I might have met him hardly 3-4 times.

I was delivering a Keynote address for Metrology Division of Carl Zeiss in 2014. After seeing the book, Mr. Wolfgang Schwarz, VP Sales based in Germany ordered for 30 copies. Our interactions over mail and linkedin are hardly 3-4 in the last two years.

I suggested Sunil my good old friend (strong tie) who was in sales about the book. He said, “I need a complimentary copy.”

  1. Last week I was conducting a program for Bruker Analytics in Mumbai. I had interacted with Dr. Shreeram Oak CEO, only once in 2012. After that meeting the second time I met him was while conducting the program.

In Mumbai I have two close friends, Amar and Ramesh (names changed) who are CEOs of companies in similar field and competing with Bruker. Both of them know me for the last 25 years. (We were working in the same company earlier ) Whenever we meet,  they regularly  complain about the poor quality of their salespeople and the need for a training program But training program to Rajan , no way!

Strong Ties:

  1. They know you too well. ( familiarity breeds contempt?)
  2. They move in almost similar circles
  3. There is a considerable overlap in their networks.

Weak Ties:

  1. They know you enough about your professional competence.
  2. More novel information about you can move into this network.
  3. There is a less overlap

The concept paper on Weak ties was developed by Mark Granovetter a Harvard Theoretician in 1972 as a part of his Ph. D. thesis. The Strength of Weak Ties is considered as a most influential sociological paper.

Quite often life is illogical and counterintuitive, do not ignore the weak ties,make the best use of them to improve the strength of your social network. Wish You a Very Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Rajan Parulekar|Paradigm Trainers Private Limited| #7, 7th Main, Binny Layout, Vijaynagar, Bangalore 560 040| T: 080 23207930, M: 98450 14098| rajan@paradigm-info.com